Вспомнился анекдот... - Форум

Доброе утро, Гость!
[ Новые сообщения · Участники · Правила форума · Поиск · RSS ]
englishcd.ruНачалоФорумРегистрация Вход RDA-версия

  • Страница 1 из 1
  • 1
Модератор форума: Леха  
Вспомнился анекдот...
RabotarDate: Понедельник, 2006-04-10, 12:11 PM | Message # 1
Рядовой
Group: Пользователи
Posts: 2
Reputation: 0
Status: Offline
Награды:
blahblah
Для начала - пара анекдотов на тему поиска работы:

- Девушка без образования ищет работу по специальности...

- Ищу интим. Работу не предлагать!..



RАБОТАЯ.ru - Это Ваша новая Работа! Вакансии и Резюме Простой поиск Работы - автоматический подбор Вакансий и Резюме.
 
englishcdDate: Понедельник, 2006-12-11, 10:23 PM | Message # 2
Admin
Group: Администраторы
Posts: 129
Reputation: 2
Status: Offline
Награды:
В иммиграционной службе:
- Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no... male or female?
- Male, female... sometimes camel...


http://englishinfo.ru
http://englishcd.ru/
 
chichiDate: Воскресенье, 2006-12-17, 7:25 PM | Message # 3
Генерал-майор
Group: Проверенные
Posts: 471
Reputation: 1
Status: Offline
Награды:
А вот кое-что про Буша))):

Действующие лица: Дж. Буш, Кондализа Райс, Ху (новый лидер Китая), Яссир Арафат, Кофи Аннан.

(We take you now to the Oval office)

George Bush (G) : Condi! Nice to see you. Whats happening?
Condi©: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

G: Great. Lay it on me.
C: Hu is the new leader of China.

G: Thats what I want to know
C: Thats what Im telling you.

G: Thats what Im asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
C: Yes

G: I mean the fellows name
C: Hu.

G: The guy in China
C: Hu

G: The new leader of China.
C: Hu

G: The Chinaman!
C: Hu is leading China.

G: Now whaddya asking me for?
C: Im telling you Hu is leading China!

G: Well, Im asking you. Who is leading China?
C: Thats man name!

G: Thats who s name?
C: Yes

G: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
C: Yes, sir.

G: Yassir? Yassir Arafat in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
C: Thats correct.

G: Then who is in China?
C: Yes,sir.

G: Yassir is in China?
C: No,sir.

G: Then who is?
C: Yes, sir

G: Yassir?
C: No,sir

G: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone
C: Kofi?

G: No, thanks.
C: You want Kofi?

G: No
C: You dont want Kofi

G: No. But now that you mention it, I could have a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
C: Yes, sir.

G: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
C: Kofi?

G: Milk! Will you please make the call?
C: And call who?

G: Who is the guy at the U.N?
C: Hu is the guy in China

G: Will you stay out of China?
C: Yes,sir.

G: And stay out of Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
C: Kofi

G: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone)

C: Rice, here!
G: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.

biggrin



They say to follow your heart, but how can you when it is blinded by love?
 
ЛехаDate: Воскресенье, 2006-12-17, 11:19 PM | Message # 4
Рядовой
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 4
Reputation: 1
Status: Offline
Награды:
Quote (englishcd)
- No, no, no... male or female?- Male, female... sometimes camel...

А вот этого продолжения я раньше не слышал. Супер! biggrin


IronWay.Ru
 
goodboyDate: Понедельник, 2007-01-01, 11:01 PM | Message # 5
Рядовой
Group: Пользователи
Posts: 3
Reputation: 0
Status: Offline
Награды:
Какой горячий араб, однако, вай-вай..."...male,female... somtimes camel"
Просто класс!!! biggrin
 
mishkinaDate: Понедельник, 2007-01-15, 11:43 PM | Message # 6
Генерал-лейтенант
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 700
Reputation: 3
Status: Offline
Награды:
Joke

Fisherman: My man, is this public water?

Native: Yeah.

Fisherman: Then it won't be a crime if I land a fish.

Native: No, it'll be a miracle.
biggrin



The heart has its reasons of which reason know nothing.
 
SheeeeDate: Понедельник, 2007-03-19, 11:15 AM | Message # 7
Генерал-майор
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 432
Reputation: 6
Status: Offline
Награды:
the Present Continuous

The police are looking for a man with one eye called Smith.
>What's his other eye called?

It's Paul's first day at his new school.
Excuse me, young man, but are you chewing gum? >No, sir. I'm Paul Welsh.

Why is your cat looking at me?
>Probably because you're using its bowl.

 
SheeeeDate: Четверг, 2007-03-29, 11:43 AM | Message # 8
Генерал-майор
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 432
Reputation: 6
Status: Offline
Награды:
the Present Simple

Mum, does God go to the bathroom?
>No, son, why do you ask?
Well, every morning dad goes to the bathroom, knocks on the door and shouts, "Oh, God! Are you still in there?"

(This joke is like one my child brings from her kindergarten)
What do you clean your top teeth with?
>A toothbrish, of course.
And what do you clean your bottom with?
> The same.
Really! I use paper!

 
RADADate: Среда, 2007-04-18, 7:56 PM | Message # 9
Рядовой
Group: Пользователи
Posts: 1
Reputation: 0
Status: Offline
Награды:
классический, про переводчиков.

на суде чукчу допрашивают через переводчика.
судья:
- спросите сколько он продал оленей.
переводчик:
- спрашивают сколько ты продал оленей.
чукча:
- пятьсот.
переводчик:
- говорит что пятьсот.
- сколько он получил за это денег?
- сколько ты получил за это денег?
- один миллион.
- гворит что миллион.
- спросите, где он его спрятал.
- где ты его спрятал?
- не скажу.
- говорит что не скажет.
- тогда передайте что если не скажет, то мы его расстреляем.
- если не скажешь, то они тебя расстреляют!
- я спрятал деньги под своей юртой.
- он говорит что ему всеравно.....

=))



Next time, pull a trigger a little faster. Make the rope a little tighter, and cut a little deeper. ... No one will miss you here. So no wornes.
 
borisksDate: Понедельник, 2007-04-23, 12:12 PM | Message # 10
Рядовой
Group: Пользователи
Posts: 1
Reputation: 0
Status: Offline
Награды:
>> Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken
>> fence at the White House in D.C.
>>
>>
>> One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida.
>> They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
>>
>>
>> The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some
>> measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he
>> says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials,
>> $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>>
>>
>> The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring,
>> then says, I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials,
>> $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
>>
>>
>> The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to
>> the
>> White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
>>
>>
>> The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other
>> guys!
>> How did you come up with such a high figure?"
>>
>>
>> The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me,
>> $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
>>
>>
>> "Done!" replies the government official.


asdfg
 
mishkinaDate: Четверг, 2007-08-30, 6:10 AM | Message # 11
Генерал-лейтенант
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 700
Reputation: 3
Status: Offline
Награды:
только что прочитала happy

Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone.
"Okay," says the first, "I've never told anybody I'm a gay!"
The second confesses, "I'm having an affair with my boss's wife."
The third, Moishe, begins, "I don't know how to tell you..."
"Don't be shy," the two friends said.
"Well," says Moishe, "I can't keep secrets."



The heart has its reasons of which reason know nothing.
 
mishkinaDate: Четверг, 2007-08-30, 6:16 AM | Message # 12
Генерал-лейтенант
Group: Модераторы
Posts: 700
Reputation: 3
Status: Offline
Награды:
может вы тоже это чители?

LOST DOG **

3 legs,
Blind in left eye,
Missing right ear,
Tail broken,
Recently castrated,
Answers to the name of
"LUCKY"



The heart has its reasons of which reason know nothing.
 
  • Страница 1 из 1
  • 1
Поиск:

 
Статистика форума
Последнии темыЧитаемые темыАктивные участникиНовые пользователи
  • Элементарная грамматика (0)
  • Ассоциации-2 (413)
  • Каким ты был...-... таким тебя и записали :D (293)
  • Words-2 (221)
  • Акция от OZON.RU - Подарочные издания на иностранных языках! (0)
  • Эффективное изучение английского языка! (3)
  • методика обучения языку (50)
  • Как молодой человек за 5 месяцев выучил английский (0)
  • ассоциации (604)
  • Words (532)
  • Guess word (516)
  • Ассоциации-2 (413)
  • Каким ты был...-... таким тебя и записали :D (293)
  • I know 5... (262)
  • Words-2 (221)
  • жизнь глазами эмигранта (199)
  • Proverbs (198)
  • The song helps us to build and live... (195)
  • sorciere
  • Lia
  • pupil
  • mishkina
  • Lady
  • chichi
  • Sheeee
  • englishcd
  • cheery
  • oceann
  • FrankBug
  • Alexeyquele
  • kubratSox
  • Marcusthelo
  • MiguelDut
  • Carlosheant
  • WillardCrola
  • ksushaGof
  • ezhkahMarie
  • PaskstanViash
  • Rambler's Top100 Яндекс цитирования

    http://englishinfo.ru © 2007-2009
    Хостинг от uCoz