Действующие лица: Дж. Буш, Кондализа Райс, Ху (новый лидер Китая), Яссир Арафат, Кофи Аннан.

(We take you now to the Oval office)

George Bush (G) : Condi! Nice to see you. Whats happening?
Condi©: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

G: Great. Lay it on me.
C: Hu is the new leader of China.

G: Thats what I want to know
C: Thats what Im telling you.

G: Thats what Im asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
C: Yes

G: I mean the fellows name
C: Hu.

G: The guy in China
C: Hu

G: The new leader of China.
C: Hu

G: The Chinaman!
C: Hu is leading China.

G: Now whaddya asking me for?
C: Im telling you Hu is leading China!

G: Well, Im asking you. Who is leading China?
C: Thats man name!

G: Thats who s name?
C: Yes

G: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
C: Yes, sir.

G: Yassir? Yassir Arafat in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
C: Thats correct.

G: Then who is in China?
C: Yes,sir.

G: Yassir is in China?
C: No,sir.

G: Then who is?
C: Yes, sir

G: Yassir?
C: No,sir

G: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone
C: Kofi?

G: No, thanks.
C: You want Kofi?

G: No
C: You dont want Kofi

G: No. But now that you mention it, I could have a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
C: Yes, sir.

G: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
C: Kofi?

G: Milk! Will you please make the call?
C: And call who?

G: Who is the guy at the U.N?
C: Hu is the guy in China

G: Will you stay out of China?
C: Yes,sir.

G: And stay out of Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
C: Kofi

G: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone)

C: Rice, here!
G: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.

Fisherman: My man, is this public water?

Native: Yeah.

Fisherman: Then it won't be a crime if I land a fish.

Native: No, it'll be a miracle.

The police are looking for a man with one eye called Smith.
>What's his other eye called?

It's Paul's first day at his new school.
Excuse me, young man, but are you chewing gum? >No, sir. I'm Paul Welsh.

Why is your cat looking at me?
>Probably because you're using its bowl.

Mum, does God go to the bathroom?
>No, son, why do you ask?
Well, every morning dad goes to the bathroom, knocks on the door and shouts, "Oh, God! Are you still in there?"

(This joke is like one my child brings from her kindergarten)
What do you clean your top teeth with?
>A toothbrish, of course.
And what do you clean your bottom with?
> The same.
Really! I use paper!

на суде чукчу допрашивают через переводчика.
судья:
- спросите сколько он продал оленей.
переводчик:
- спрашивают сколько ты продал оленей.
чукча:
- пятьсот.
переводчик:
- говорит что пятьсот.
- сколько он получил за это денег?
- сколько ты получил за это денег?
- один миллион.
- гворит что миллион.
- спросите, где он его спрятал.
- где ты его спрятал?
- не скажу.
- говорит что не скажет.
- тогда передайте что если не скажет, то мы его расстреляем.
- если не скажешь, то они тебя расстреляют!
- я спрятал деньги под своей юртой.
- он говорит что ему всеравно.....

=))

Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone.
"Okay," says the first, "I've never told anybody I'm a gay!"
The second confesses, "I'm having an affair with my boss's wife."
The third, Moishe, begins, "I don't know how to tell you..."
"Don't be shy," the two friends said.
"Well," says Moishe, "I can't keep secrets."

LOST DOG **

3 legs,
Blind in left eye,
Missing right ear,
Tail broken,
Recently castrated,
Answers to the name of
"LUCKY"